Pictures soon.

Yesterday, I crawled through a 40 foot colon.

I think that's great, for two reasons.

1. Colon cancer awareness is important. Breast cancer gets so much attention these days, with te pink ribbons and celebrity endorsements. You can buy breast cancer awareness mints, breast cancer awareness scarves, breast cancer awareness bathing suits- I'm sure, soon, there will be a breast cancer edition ford explorer. It will be candy pink and have one lumpy tire. If you can't tell the dealer which tire was lumpy at the 6,000 mile check, you lose both front tires. That'll show you.
But there is no brown ribbon for colon cancer. There's no video you can order for free from Lifetime television that encourages you notice changes in your stool and get a colonoscopy when neccessary. Colon cancer just isn't sexy. It's not marketable. Any celebrity that encourages you to get a professional to insert costly electronics into your ass soon finds themselves coasting onto the b-list. (Sorry, Katie Couric- you tried).

2. I crawled through a giant DISEASED colon.

It was at the Mall of Warwick, in Rhode Island. Also in attendance was Eneman. Yes, Eneman. Eneman is the real, actual, not tongue-in-cheek, sincere, genuine, Tobey McGuire earnest, Ronald McDonald charismatic, mascot of Fleet. Eneman is an over-six foot, smiling enema. He wears a cape and would LOVE to shake your hand. (I promise, pictures as SOON as I develop them) He was also giving out small stuffed replicas of himself.

At the same time, at the mall, I saw another memorable celebrity. Miss Rhode Island.

More later.