Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

But it exists.

And it's not a big deal. But it is a quality that some women have and some women don't. It is a current myth, nearly as potent as "there is someone for everyone", that all women are beautiful.
To those who genuinely believe that, I have one thing to say: Ride a fucking subway.

One time.

Not all women are beautiful. And it's fine. The current myth, the current platitude, the current Eve Ensler-type self-love, girl power, "Every girl is beautiful" is a lie. And it's a damaging lie. And that lie, meant to comfort girls, and women, who are not beautiful, just perpetuates the power that "beauty" has.

I am not beautiful. I am fat, but that wouldn't exclude me, automatically, from being beautiful. These two facts, when I acknowledge either of them, cause people to immediately pipe in with free-to-be-you-and-me choruses. It's as if I had said "I am worthless" or "I want to die", or another entirely self-negating statement. I am many things. I am smart (very). Funny (very) Kind (sometimes). Charming (occasionally). Sexy (damn straight!). Fun. Tall. Brunette. I make a great cappuccino. I'm a decent writer. I have lots of friends, never been hurting to find a relationship. At times I'm cute or stylish. Once I was well-dressed. I am a lot of things.

But people won't let me be what I am. They have to make me believe that I'm something I'm not. Why? If appearance isn't important, why can't people let me be not beautiful? I have a big nose, often red, easily flushing skin, bucked teeth, and a round, soft face, and my eyes are very close together. So? This won't hold me back. I'm loved. I'm secure. I clean up good. Let me be.

Why do we tell little girls that appearances don't matter, but keep it so paramount, so sacred, that not being beautiful can't be mentioned? We tell every little girl she will grow up beautiful. I'd rather tell them they'd grow up smart. Because if they fail at smart, if they keep trying, they might at least be well-read.

Beauty is a certain symmetry of features and clarity of skin, indicating a lack of parasites, accurate gene expression, fertile, robust health and good nutrition, combined with several cultural factors that vary from place to place and person to person. While the cultural factors may influence a narrowing of the most accepted definitions of the height of beauty, a general lack of the trait can be observed in a plurality, if not the majority, of individuals in any given population. This variation is natural, defineable, and not deleterious to individuals if we do not place such obscene emphasis on it that we refuse to acknowledge it.